Slipping down the slope

Now that I'm back in patrol, having decompressed from the workload and emotional toll Child Exploitation imposed, I don't know how to feel. I have always loved my job. I loved that assignment especially, and miss the team every day. Now, I'm conflicted. While I still believe in my job, and believe I do it well, I am also noticing a tangible, palpable shift in my perspective. Briefings used to be something I looked forward to. There was always good humor, interesting stories, and a feeling of camaraderie. It was a time to talk about the warrant you wanted to serve, the crazy call from the night before, or share personal stories. Now, it's all negativity. There is no laughter. There is nothing fun about it. I miss the camaraderie.

Our Mayor has succeeded in turning the public against us. Every cop I know agrees that we need to make concessions. We are all willing and prepared to take pay cuts. We are not so disconnected that we don't realize that we, like everyone, need to suffer a little to get through this time. To those who say we are "greedy" I can't imagine anyone working anywhere would be happy and welcoming to a change in their job description and benefits/pay/retirement contracts after years of sacrifice. It's sad to me that men and women who willingly put themselves in harms way are now being vilified by the very communities whom they serve.

I've been loyal to this city for almost 20 years. I have passed up other opportunities to do so. I used to be so proud of this agency and felt lucky to work here. I've sustained injury, worked holidays, and been exposed to chemicals, violence, and disease. I have not paid into Social Security, but HAVE paid almost 22 percent of my income into my pension. You bet your butt we're going to be a little concerned when we are threatened with major, devastating changes.

The Mayor is playing dirty. His intent seems to be to make us seem like greedy pigs who won't compromise in a time when everyone is suffering. His intent seems to be to force an impasse by being unreasonable in his demands and unwilling to compromise. Don't take my word for it. Here's a link to a blog written by a city councilman discussing the Mayor's plan:

http://sjdistrict2.blogspot.com/2011/05/my-thoughts-on-fiscal-emergency-plan.html?spref=fb

I could write pages on my thoughts and opinions about the Mayor's plan. Instead I want to process here is my observations of the effects this "negotiations process" has had on my peers. I have watched hard working, proud officers become deflated, angry, and unmotivated. Men and women who used to develop training for their peers, went out of their way to gain extra expertise and knowledge, and sign up for assignments to better themselves are now saying, "why bother." Myself along with others who would have once jumped at the opportunity to work an investigative unit are now threatened with having to work a 5x8 shift for no other reason than as a demonstration of power by the city. I've been working 4x10 shifts for 20 years and now you want to arbitrarily change it? I think I'll stay in patrol and let someone else work the sex crimes. Wait? Who might that be? Not tenured officers with experience...they don't want 5x8 either. So, will those spots be filled by reverse seniority. Good luck with that.

We feel undervalued and abused. Walking in the briefing room, one can almost taste the bitterness in the air. How can we, as a community, ask young men and women to apply for a job like this when the community we work for and the city we are employed by makes it clear we do not matter to them. We are only human. When I worked in backgrounds years ago, we had difficulty getting qualified candidates. Filling an academy was tough. That was when times were GOOD!

At a recent dinner with friends, both of whom have historically been hard-working, proactive, productive and dedicated cops each and every one of us at the table verbalized how hard it is to go to work. How much we hate it. How we miss the feeling of love and pride we used to get from this job. How we all used to love going to work, and now we dread it and see it only as a means to an end. I highly doubt this is the mindset any employer would want in its employees. I highly doubt this is the mindset the public wants from its police force.

What used to be chatter on the radio from people making car stops, pedestrian stops, and actively looking for "bad guys" is now silent defiance. Why bother? Why risk injury from a possible violent encounter? Why self-initiate an investigation, which might result in overtime for which we won't get paid and which would require more time at such a miserable workplace? Many of those who face lay off seem to be reluctant to get involved in anything that might result in injury or complaint, thus limiting their employment opportunities. Doing what is required versus going above and beyond what is required is a rarity.

It feels akin to the under-appreciated housewife who goes on housework strike to prove a point. Let's see how fast the trash piles up...Anyone who argues that car stops, pedestrian stops, and general proactivity doesn't help reduce violence and crime need only watch as the stabbings and murders are on the rise in San Jose. The gangsters aren't worried. The public should be.

Cops are accustomed to our "clients" despising us. Really, it's their job to hate us, right? That's to be expected. But when you go to work feeling like your own employer is out to get you, it's really hard to motivate yourself to do more than the bare minimum! Can you imagine going to work every day and having your boss say, "Look...I don't care about you. In fact, you aren't worth the benefits and pay you have earned. You are easily replaceable." It would be really hard to put your best foot forward, and I would imagine you, too would do the bare minimum to get through the day. Talk about slippery slopes.

What I see happening is scary. San Jose Police Department has highly educated, well trained cops. To see these people giving up and essentially saying "fuck it" is going to result in several things. Good people will leave for better opportunities. We've already seen that happen. Proactive policing will come to a grinding halt. We were rarely able to get enough candidates to apply and pass the background process in order to fill an academy before. How will we attract good candidates in this type of environment? Standards will be lowered, and corruption will follow. I'm worried about my future here. In the meantime I'm going to handle my calls professionally and thoroughly. But I'm not risking any more than I have to anymore. And I'm dusting off my resume.