Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Insomnia

Ever elusive zzzzs. Those things that I cannot seem to get today. So, my wonderful husband put in black out shades and installed a portable air conditioning unit because he so desperately wants me to sleep. It might seem selfless, but I'm sure my being rested benefits him. I've seen me without sleep. It's not pretty.

In spite of his efforts, there is the little problem of our very bright bathroom and my wimpy bladder. Inevitably, I have to pee about 2 hours into any sleep session. I could have spent a month in the desert without so much as a drop of liquids and STILL, I gotta go. So, going from a pitch black cool room to the blazing sunlight of my bathroom thrusts me in to consciousness. AHA, a solution. I keep a knit beanie next to the bed. When I have to pee, I keep my eyes closed, yank that down over my head akin to Dumb Donald without the eyeholes and maneuver my way in like a sightless drunk to the potty. VICTORY. I should be able to fall back into sweet slumber, right? Not quite.

You see, we have Bubba. The sweet labrador that has become my shadow. Despite the fact that Shawn bought him, trained him, wrestles with him, kisses him (almost uncomfortably so), bathes him, throws the ball for him, the dog is absolutely devoted to me. Apparently, he's so devoted he wants to be next to me when I pee. Which I would have known if I could see. I'll give him credit...he lasted about two hours in there all by himself on the cold tile before he finally howled his way into my dreams and startled me awake. Oh well...I can survive on 4.2 hours of sleep, right? Why am I doing this again? Oh, that's right....work.

Recently, Emma was playing with the other kids and a friend's child. They were playing good ole "cops and robbers." As Emma ran by with a plastic assault rifle filled with icy water (oh, if they only issued those to us...in fact it could be a good parenting tool...but I digress), I asked her if she was a cop or a robber, she loudly proclaimed, "A COP! It's in my BLOOD!"

I hope insomnia isn't in her blood, too.

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